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Fresh ideas, anyone?

December 24, 2006
The BBC are reporting that government ministers are admitting they are completely clueless about crime, because they are suggesting that “new ideas” are required.

A few quotes from the article and my views follow.

New ways of tackling crime must be considered, a minister has said, after a report warned crime rates could rise for the first time in 12 years.”

There’s nothing wrong with the old ideas, it’s just that we aren’t allowed to implement them because they can’t be measured. I’m now of the opinion that performance measures are a sign of weak management. Instead of having the balls to say someone is crap, a weak manager can use performance figures to “prove” someone is or isn’t performing. Of course, it only shows how someone is performing against those indices that are being measured. What isn’t measured isn’t done and nobody seems to care.

The leaked Downing Street strategy unit report says crime could rise if there is a slowdown in economic growth. It says prescribing heroin and alcohol rationing could help cut crime.”

This is the same government that has introduced 24 hour drinking. How can you ration something that is so freely available? Could we perhaps ask the Americans who introduced Prohibition, because that worked really well, didn’t it?

The 60-page report, obtained by the Sunday Times, also criticises police for failing to improve their performance despite large budget increases.”

The police are criticised for not meeting performance targets that are specifically set to ensure that comparisons can be made between forces. What is the point? Unless someone is going to move house to get away from their current crime ridden estate, how reassuring is it to know that your local force can’t detect vehicle crime very well?

Its other findings include that prisoners numbers are rising beyond capacity, there is no money for new prisons…”

No money for new prisons, but we can afford a load of new nuclear subs that will never, ever be used for the purpose that they were built for. They will not be a deterrent, because if someone is determined to nuke us all, a couple of subs ain’t gonna stop them.

“…and that nine out of 10 crimes are either not reported or go unpunished.”

So now we are getting somewhere. The reason crime is increasing is because the risk of getting punished is well below the benefits that the perpetrators reap. I seem to recall the government promising to put the fear of crime back on the criminal – this is quite clearly not happening. Most criminals now know that even if they get kept in custody at the police station, they will get bail as soon as they get to court. People don’t bother reporting crime, because they know that the hassle of having to go to court to give evidence will not be rewarded by a serious punishment for the offender.

Ms Blears told the BBC that the document looked at “tough issues” and “new challenges” and was intended to help the government plan for the future.”

How many times have we heard this bullshit? The government have had how long to plan for the future? The only future that politicians are interested in is the next election. Why introduce radical long-term plans when another party might be in power and get all the credit?

The report goes on, predicting that another 25,000 prison places will be needed within five years. I’ll bet you now that there will be no new prisons built in that time. There will be a General Election between now and then, so millions of pounds of taxpayers money will be needed for all the campaign advertising and palm-greasing that goes on for months before the election. The net result of which is that 50% of the electorate are so weary with it all that they stay at home.

There’s no need for fresh ideas – we’ve had enough of fresh ideas. These same ideas that have made absolutely no difference to the fight on crime, because the people who should be fighting crime are handcuffed by the bureaucracy that this government has introduced.

Let experienced, effective police officers decide on the priorities and strategies that should be used to fight crime. Let these officers have control of the budget in order to target finances where they are required. Let us decide on the best equipment for the job and let us use the purchasing power of 43 police forces (I’m still using that word, even though it is nearly 2007) to get the best deal.

In summary, let the police do their job and keep the politicians out of it. They’ve got their own part-time job to do!

6 Comments leave one →
  1. Cogidubnus permalink
    December 25, 2006 03:04

    OK Mr Blair, car crime…laddy get’s nicked (yet again) for driving without tax and insurance…and the penalty is… rather less than said tax and insurance … great legislation that is then…tough on crime, tough on the causes of crime – into self-abuse are we Tone?

  2. James permalink
    December 25, 2006 18:35

    Here’s a new idea: Listen to the poor bastards who actually have to go out and enforce the law for a change!

  3. fred permalink
    December 26, 2006 04:53

    I bet the imperial bodyguard at Downing Street spent this last night undisturbed…that’s because nobody cares enough to knock the bastard off…

  4. totallyun-pc permalink
    December 30, 2006 10:06

    mate, thats deep.

    happy New Year, lets hope it gets better.

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, oh dear, there I go again, making myself laugh un-controlably. must stop doing that at my age.

  5. Inspector Gadget permalink
    December 31, 2006 08:26

    This is one of the best Blog posts I have seen. You are spot on with everything you say. Essentially, they have finished playing with Education (league tables that compare schools in inner city areas with ones in well off middle-class areas??)and Health (changing the way in which waiting lists are calculated) and for a while now the new train set is policing.

  6. Anonymous permalink
    December 31, 2006 12:20

    Lock the buggers up!!!!

    Start with the politicians, as they are a danger to society, then the criminals as they are slightly less of a danger.

    If they are banged up they don’t commit crimes.


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