Efficient?

I was at the Dream Factory today and while I was there, the building was evacuated due to a fire alarm.

Over 10% of the whole force establishment work at HQ and they all had to leave their desks and go out on the street. Guess how much effect this interruption had on front-line policing?

Well, apart from the one bobby who happened to wander past on his normal patrol, I don’t think anyone even noticed!

There’s a story there, somewhere.

© Stan Still 2006 - if you want to copy my stuff, it would be polite to ask first!

Public transport health warning

I use public transport on a regular basis. The main reason is because it is free. If I am travelling to or from work and I am prepared to deal with any issues that arise during my journey, I can use my warrant card as a travel pass on buses, trains and trams. Most of the time, this little benefit is very welcome, because I have to make regular trips into the Big City.

I like driving, but I hate parking. I especially hate having to pay for parking. I understand why parking restrictions have to be in place and I have no sympathy for anyone who parks on yellow lines. Bill Sticker has my full support. What I dislike are the multi-storey car parks, especially those run by a very large Car Park company that operate on a National basis! The reason for my loathing of these places is the fact that you don’t find out how much they are going to charge you for the privilege of leaving your car in their concrete towers until you are already in there. By the time you realise it will cost you a day’s pay to park there for a half a day, it is too late and the barrier has dropped behind you.

Anyway, back to the plot. The health warning. Should people with colds be allowed to travel on public transport? I have to sit on buses, trains and trams and listen to people sucking up snot, blowing their nose, sneezing, coughing and spluttering all over the place. I must have some natural resistance, as I haven’t had a day off sick in years. In fact, I’ve worked out that during my service, if I was the average officer, I should have had something like 120 days sick leave. This means I am owed over 100 days off - I think I’ll have them in the summer and go abroad for three months. My advice to anyone wishing to travel by bus in the next couple of months - get a mask and a large bottle of Domestos, just in case.

My force has a “Safer Travel” team, who spend a lot of their duty time on public transport. I wouldn’t be surprised if some of them haven’t had time off with croup, tuberculosis, whooping cough or even bird flu. It might be worth someone from Porton Down taking a few swabs to see if they can pick up some tips for combatting germ warfare.

Talking of government, what are the chances of Labour proposing a bill banning anyone with runny nose from leaving their home? It would be a defence to be in possession of a clean hanky or packet of paper tissues, but anyone caught without means to wipe or blow (sleeves don’t count) will be quarantined immediately. It would be a natural extension of the other nannying legislation that has been passed and would be warmly welcomed by the office staff who fancied a lie-in on Monday morning.

© Stan Still 2006 - if you want to copy my stuff, it would be polite to ask first!

Thanks

to World Weary Detective and Blues & Twos for being the first to comment on my blog. As a reward (not that we are allowed to accept rewards, but this isn’t financial so doesn’t need to be declared) I’ve put you both on the side bar.

Due to other stuff going on, I’ve not added anything at all interesting yet, but bear with me. Bearing in mind what has happened to Brian, I’ll have to be careful what I say. If they can identify one officer among the many thousands in the Throbbing Metropolis, there’s a greater chance of me being tracked down in the Humming Metrolopiss.

© Stan Still 2006 - if you want to copy my stuff, it would be polite to ask first!

Bet you can’t guess what I do for a living?

Seeing as loads of other police officers (that’s given it away) have their own blog, I thought it was time for me to get in on the act.

As this is the first post, I’ll keep it brief and leave you wondering what will be next.

I’m with a very large force in the middle of England, so it shouldn’t take too long to work out roughly where I am, but there are over 8000 of us, so it might take you a bit longer to identify who I am.

(To give you a clue - I’m not the Chief)

© Stan Still 2006 - if you want to copy my stuff, it would be polite to ask first!